From Fear to Love
If anyone had told me five years ago that I would be a yoga teacher now, I would have laughed and said no hope. Glossophobia or fear of speaking in public is a very common fear for a large number of people and to overcome it was a huge achievement for me. I can pinpoint back to my childhood the situation in which the phobia took hold. We were reciting poetry for a music festival, and I had the lead lines in the class. Whatever way I said the lines, it was not good enough for the teacher so she made me stand and continue repeating them until I felt faint. I told her I was feeling faint and nauseous, but she didn’t let me sit down, I was embarrassed and humiliated. From that day on whenever I was asked to speak or read in a group of people, panic set in and the same sickening feeling would come back to me.
Fast forward 25 years, I had been practicing yoga and seeing Judith at the same time. in one of my sessions with Judith we were talking about a change in career and she suggested becoming a Yoga Teacher. The thought never entered my mind, even as Judith spoke the words, my inner little Rosie was saying was ‘No Way’… However, I started using my tools along with Judith’s visualisations and I gained the confidence to sign up to the 200hr Teacher Training Course. Initially I loved the course, I was confident and brave with my lovely group of teachers and fellow students. As the course progressed, we started teaching practice, and all was well until I made a mistake and then the fear took hold again. What happens on the energetic level, eventually manifests into the physical. My back started to spasm, I could not practice, I couldn’t move, it was as if I was rooted with fear, a fear of moving forward.
It was then that I remembered Judith’s book and how she worked with her own inner child to create new patterns and overcome her childhood fears. Daily I worked with little Rosie, bringing her back to the classroom to confront the embarrassment and humiliation she felt on that day many years ago. It was very hard at first, however, I needed to step through this, or my fear would continue to grip me. I visualised going back in time and walking into my old classroom everyday reciting the poem and each day it got a little bit easier. Until one day I visualised the whole class reciting the poem with me. This is when I knew I was making progress. I still continued my visualisation until the day of my Teacher Training Practice where I was able to walk into the room with confidence and nervous excitement. I had used my tools to let go of the old patterns that didn’t serve me and kept me stuck. I had formed new positive neural pathways and I knew my inner little Rosie was very well capable of giving a class. I now love standing at the top of a class, whether its in a park or a centre, teaching my yoga with confidence, knowing that I turned my fear into love.
Rosie gives weekly yoga instructions in Tymon Park, Tallaght on Monday nights from 7pm to 8pm
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